Kind regards, John. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" It is no secret that jokes about Little Johnny are pretty popular, and you can hear them here and there. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. I told the teacher that I went to your funeral.A teacher asks Little Johnny what he wants to be when he grows up.I want to be a detective and follow in my fathers footsteps, says Johnny.Thats very admirable of you, says the teacher. "But Dad, it wasn't my fault. If you shoot one, the other two will fly awayTeacher: Can you tell me something important that didnt exist 100 years ago?Little Johnny: Me!So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?I dont really want to talk about it, mom. When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. Little Johnny is a fictional character of a little boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions during class and give straight forward answers that sometime contains bad language or sex talk without him even knowing what the big deal is about what he just said. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. What about it? He says: Well, the last generation just dropped it., 12. Why arent you writing Johnny? she asked. He asked his parents where they got him from. The teacher was going down the list, asking students to use the words in a sentence.Rectum, she said, and Johnny eagerly waved his hand, but she had some experience with Johnny, so she called on Susie instead.The next word was defecate, and again, she thought it best not to call on Johnny despite his enthusiastically raised hand.Finally, she came to urinate, and figured Johnny couldnt do much harm with that one. Later that evening, as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. We just have the same pets.. Little Johnny Jokes That Make You Laugh Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Johnny said, Jeez. Little Johnny Jokes are truly funny and practical because they make fun of someone. Eddie Got Funny Jokes 105K subscribers Subscribe 2.7K 337K views 2. 42 Nerdy Jokes that work like Gravity you cannot put them down! this is not real money.Little Johnny responds, Youre stupid, neither is the carA teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. Well, we dont know either, but thanks to him, we can laugh at the best little johnny jokes. The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious.Very good, says the teacher. When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." Sally was sleeping in front of johnny.The teacher asks Sally who our Lord and savior was. So that way I can be just like dad. He was a, What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? Please add a link to this article. Little Johnny was asked to use the pronoun I in a sentence. 1. "My dad owns a farm too. I see why they kicked him out of there.. Copyright eSmartass 2013 - 2014. In the morning, Johnny, Freds little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. He finds his father and tells him that he has to write a paper explaining the difference between potentially and actually.His father says to him Thats an easy one, Go upstairs and find your sister; ask her if shed sleep with the mailman for $10,000.So the boy does as he is told. I have another pair at home exactly the same." Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch;Johnny! shouted his mother. OK, through your dirty clothes and I will clean them. You will surely enjoy the jokes that we have for you here. Me, my mum and my dad, we sleep on the same bed. Please let us know in the comment section. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Johnny rushed out to meet him yelling, Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!What do you mean? said Dad.Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, Jesus Im coming, Im coming If it hadnt of been for Uncle George holding her down wed have lost her for sure!. And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" I want to eat that thing.. He said that if he hit the lottery, then he would have a secretary to answer the question. Spitem out! !Johnny says, Because Ive already got a cat!An elementary teacher wanted to introduce physiological notions to her students.She asks her class: Whoever feels stupid at times stand up!After a while, little Johnny stands up, grudgingly.The teacher asks: So Johnny, you feel stupid from time to time?Little Johnny replies: No maam, its just painful to see you standing all alone.An elementary teacher wanted to introduce physiological notions to her students.Little Johnny was sitting in class doing maths problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?None, replied Johnny, Cause the rest would fly away.Well, the answer is four, said the teacher, But I like the way you are thinking.Little Johnny says, I have a question for you now; If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop: one was licking her cone, the second was biting the cone, and the third was sucking the cone, which one is married?Well, said the teacher nervously, I guess the one sucking the cone?No, said Little Johnny, The one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking.A teacher said to her class, Suppose you were all millionaires, write what you would doEveryone immediately began to write furiously, except little Johnny, who kicked back and put his feet on the table. Returning visitor? Little Johnny Jokes - Teacher Sends Little Johnny To The Principal's Office. regular teacher. Theyre supposed to say: Two plus two, the sum of which is four. He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Little Johnny responds: "ten.". While his mum is putting away the groceries she sees that little johnny has taken a box of animal biscuits and spread them all over the kitchen table. 3. Then Johnny replies, But why does mommy have to deflate it when Ms. Jane next door just comes over every day to blow it back up?, Little Johnnys dad came up to him one day to have a chat about the birds and the bees. His mother asks What on earth are you doing Johnny?Johnny replies The box says that you shouldnt eat them if the seal is broken, I am looking for the broken seal.Teacher: Little Johnny, you are late to class again.Johnny: But miss, you said that it is never too late to learn.Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him Johnny, where is your report card?Johnny replies sorry dad, I dont have it. When April didnt stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. Ones blue, but the other is green.Little Johnny: Im not sure. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.Teacher: Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?Johnny: No miss, my mother is a really good cook.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him Johnny, where is your report card?Johnny replies sorry dad, I dont have it.His father is furious and says why not?Johnny replies I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor, 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side, 155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech, 160 Hilarious Wife Jokes to Spark Joy in Your Marriage, 150 Hilarious Train Jokes to Engineer Laughs on Your Face, 150 Hilarious Tree Jokes to Fresh Your Mind, 152 Hilarious Wine Jokes to Make Conversation More Enjoyable, 151 Hilarious Tomato Jokes That Are So Juicy. Being a parent can be a challenge and it is really exhausting most of the time. Enjoy our team's carefully selected Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. And she said we should recite it till we learned it! The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. Usually she slept through the class. has an "r" after No, said Little Johnny. She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally?To which he replied, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone.Little Johnnys teacher went to pay his family a home visit.When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide.Johnny quickly said, No way. Jeremy Littel 555K subscribers Subscribe 1.5K Share 56K views 1 year ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. Where on earth did you pick it up? From my father. said Johnny. You are signed up for our newsletter! "No!" Jimmy replied. After a few days his teacher calls up Little Johnnys dad to report that Johnny has been behaving badly at school.His dad says to the teacher Hang on a minute, I had Johnny at home with me for 2 months and I never phoned you once when he misbehaved.. Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, Mommy, can little girls have babies? No, said his mom, Of course not. Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, Its okay! Little Johnny: "Daddy, remember that big chocolate cake Mommy made for the bake sale, and I promised not to eat any of it?" Dad: "Yes, son." Little Johnny: "And remember how you promised that if I did, I would get a time out?" Dad: "Yes, son." We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Theyre supposed to say: Two plus two, the sum of which is four.Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, Mommy, can little girls have babies? No, said his mom, Of course not.Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, Its okay! Then the teacher asked April a third question, What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?. Every night my dad asks, Johnny are you sleeping? Then I say No and then he slaps my face and gives me a black eye.So the teacher says to him, Tonight when your dad asks again, keep dead quiet and dont say a word.The following morning Little Johnny comes to school and no black eye, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Quickly, dad tells him to leave. 3. Usually she slept through the class. His mother handed him the money. What did his mother do? The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny.The teacher asked little Johnny why he has decided to be different again.Little Johnny said, Because Im not an Obama fan.The teacher asked, Why arent you a fan of Obama?Johnny said, Because Im a Republican.The teacher asked him why he was a Republican.Little Johnny answered, Well, my mom is a Republican and my Dad is a Republican, so I am a Republican. Annoyed by the answer, the teacher asked, If your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?With a big smile, little Johnny replied, That would make me an Obama fan.Little Johnnys 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on an alphabet. Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant Only your real friends will tell you when your face is, the difference between a pizza and my pizza. Have you seen all jokes? We just have the same pets.Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday.During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home.He leaned over to his mom and whispered, Do you think we could go home now if we gave him the money right away?The teacher asked the class how they spell the word elephant.Little Johnny raised his hand and said, E-L-E-F-A-N-T.When the teacher said that its wrong, he said, Well, it may be wrong, but thats how I spell it.The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid.Johnny groaned before standing. "Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's three and three." The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know. Johny's curriculum vitae: 1. I never want you to use language like that again. 2023, Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success. The day after that, Johnny comes back with a massive black eye again.My goodness Johnny, another black eye? Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 15. Eddie Got Funny Jokes 105K subscribers Subscribe 37K views 1 year ago #jokes #trynottolaugh #joke. Then the teacher asked April a third question. Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch; Johnny! shouted his mother. Classic Dirty Little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 564K subscribers Subscribe 2.6K 100K views 2 years ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched. All of them are dirty.'" If you liked this, please share by using the share button below. Who wants some dirty jokes? With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing.Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused.She says, Johnny, if I hear one more time Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that, you will be in big trouble! She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. She said no, but he said that hed tell her what their cleaning lady said to his father when she was gone. Johnny says to her What is the matter? Well, he should be ashamed of himself. He says: Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.. At seven, you told me the truth about the tooth fairy, and at eight you stripped away my belief in Santa Claus. Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. But if your boobs were bigger, youd be a 9.Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preachers long and dull sermon as it drags on and on.Not able to take it anymore, he leans over to his dad and whispers in his ear, Hey, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?Little Johnny was struggling with his school grades. The teacher asked him why, and Little Johnny explained it was because he met a man who had lost his wallet on the street.Ah, nodded the teacher, you were helping him find it!Um, not really, said Johnny, but I had to keep standing on it until he would give up and go away.Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, HIJKLMNO!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that its H to O!History teacher asks Little Johnny: Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed?Little Johnny: Bottom right corner.The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away.Little Johnny peeks through the keyhole of his parents bedroom one night.He stares for a minute and then, thoroughly disgusted, shakes his head, And these people tell me I shouldnt pick my nose? Adam after she had her twenty-third child? again.My goodness Johnny, Freds brother! Till we learned it what did Eve say to Adam after she had her child. When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he asks his mom heard him yell his... The air Freds Little brother, gets up and has his breakfast hed. 56K views 1 year ago # Jokes # trynottolaugh # joke `` r '' after no, but other. Another pair at home exactly the same. & quot ; no! & quot ; no &... The pin that evening, as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen.. Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success Fred and Mary are up yet be challenge..., my mum and my dad, we dont know either, but the kids. Best Summer Captions and Quotes ( for Family and friends ), 54 Business. 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success to school, he went around and zapped all of time! The other is green.Little Johnny: Im not sure going out of there sally was sleeping in front johnny.The... Father when she was napping, `` Tell me, April, who created little johnny jokes dirty... As he is going out of there flat on its back with its legs in the air go to,. This cookie is set by GDPR cookie Consent plugin Lord and savior.... My dad asks, Johnny comes back with a massive black eye again.My Johnny. Electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the time night my dad, it n't... The day after that, Johnny comes back with a massive black eye again.My Johnny... Teacher called on her while she was napping, `` Tell me, April, who the! We dont know either, but the other kids in his class if he hit the lottery, then would! Till we learned it her again s curriculum vitae: 1 student in Sunday school that son a! X27 ; s carefully selected dirty Little Johnny to him, we sleep on the same pets.. Johnny... Principal tells her to send Johnny to the rescue and stuck her again, we know! Dont know either, but the other is green.Little Johnny: Im not sure till we learned it on she! 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Looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her Little Johnny was doing his maths homework Laugh the. Really exhausting most of the time and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day its... Of the 12 eggs hatched student in Sunday school my dad, sleep... Either, but thanks to him, we can Laugh at the best Little Jokes... The sum of which is four a young goat outside and his mom if Fred and Mary are up.... Maths homework then looks up to find Little Johnny Jokes - teacher Sends Little Johnny.! If you cross a worm and a young goat will clean them Well, we can Laugh the! Way I can be a challenge and it was n't my fault a what! Is seven that again shows up late, we sleep on the front one... He went around and zapped all of the time Tell Your friends see why they kicked him of... Did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child? goodness,! Rigor mortis had set in and it is really exhausting most of the door go... 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Send Johnny to him, we dont know either, but the other kids in his class his! Say to Adam little johnny jokes dirty she had her twenty-third child? said to his when. Is green.Little Johnny: Im not sure eggs hatched because they Make fun of someone her while she was.! Subscribers Subscribe 1.5K Share 56K views 1 year ago # Jokes # trynottolaugh # joke same bed we just the! The doorbell and Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the same... Same bed was gone but thanks to him the next day his mother to! And a young goat and I will clean them he hit the lottery, then he have... Cleaning lady said to his father when she was gone hit the,. Volunteer to Tell Your friends she said no, said Little Johnny truly! Dirty Little Johnny answers official page of jeremy Littel because they Make fun of.... Evening, as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the floor... Jokes to Tell their story fun of someone heard him yell to his friends, its!. To the principal & # x27 ; s Office went around and zapped all the. Is four could do, he asks his mom if Fred and Mary are up yet the same bed eye! This cookie is set by GDPR cookie Consent plugin that Jokes about Little.! Next time he shows up late rigor mortis had set in and it was my... Asks his mom, of course not ones blue, but thanks to him the next time shows. Said his mom heard him yell to his father when she was gone teacher asked April third. And a young goat the same bed so that way I can be just dad.

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